Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m a 100% or nothing kind of a person”? Have you said it yourself?

So, what is it all about? We tend to have three types of conflicts in our thinking, in our beliefs and values.


A towards-towards conflict is when we want two different things simultaneously. Let’s say your CV is out with a headhunter, and you gain two job offers. You like both companies and cannot decide which offer to go for. You are in a stuck state, and the motivating emotions are POSITIVE.

Managing Towards-Towards Conflicts

This conflict is the simplest to manage. We talk to each part (option) and ask ourselves their purpose until we can’t go any higher.

When we notice that both options’ purpose is the same, it doesn’t matter which option we take because they both get the same outcome. We free ourselves to make a decision.

Please be aware that sometimes we think the conflict is towards-towards when it could be a towards-away conflict.